Why is everything a power struggle?
In this video, Dr. Lucas Harrington explains that power struggles often happen when students are overwhelmed by demands, executive functioning challenges, or fight-or-flight responses, signaling a need for understanding, support, and emotional safety before correction or guidance.
Transcript
Why does everything turn into a power struggle with this student? Okay, I think there are two main possible reasons, assuming that the student is actually resisting the expectation, and it's not just a miscommunication.
The first is that you may be asking for things that are way more difficult than you realize. So even if you know that they can do the thing in theory, you may not realize how painful it is for them to actually do it. And even if they would be able and even happy to do the thing under ideal conditions, circumstances like sensory overwhelm or executive functioning difficulties can put up roadblocks that are literally impossible for them to get around in the moment.
And then the second possibility is that their fight or flight is set off just by the fact that there is an expectation or demand. So you see this sometimes where you can even suggest something that you know that they would love to do, but their self-protective instinct starts to push back as soon as it feels like pressure.
Some people who experience this talk about it being very frustrating for them, how they really want to cooperate, but their brain is blocking them, and it might even keep them from doing things that they want to do for their own sake, and then they have to learn strategies to get around that block. Either way, it's probably at least as stressful for them as it is for you.
You know, people sometimes say, "Well, they're just making it harder for themselves," and I want you to really think about that. If there really was an easier way within reach at that moment, like, wouldn't they be happy to take it?Constant power struggles are a sign that the person needs help. Before they can take in any kind of correction or guidance, they probably need to feel like someone really gets it and like it's safe for them to let their guard down. You can learn more about supporting your struggling students through Social Cipher's professional development trainings.You can find more information at socialcipher.com.
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