Why you shouldn't say "You don't look autistic"
In this video, Vanessa Castañeda Gill explains that while people might have good intentions, telling someone they don't "look" autistic is not actually a compliment, and offers up suggestions for what to say instead.
Transcript
You don't look autistic is a comment that I tend to get a lot and I am going to break down why that's not the best way to respond when someone shares with you that they're autistic.
First of all, there is no singular look or signature, one behavior to autism. We are not a monolith, and when you have met one autistic person, you have met precisely what.
Second by saying someone doesn't look autistic, even when you have good intentions or think it's a compliment, it's not a compliment because autism isn't something that needs to be hidden or that people have to be ashamed of. It's just a natural variation in human thinking and processing and when someone shares with you they're, they're autistic, and then you immediately tell them they don't look that way, it can invalidate their experience or make them think that they're lying or pretending, um, or, and suggest that.
So how do you respond when someone says they're autistic? Honestly, the same way that you would respond when someone says they're have glasses or wear contacts. Uh, just, all right, cool. And hey, that's good to know. And by just making that change, you are already taking steps to fight stigmas of autism and to build trust with the people in your life.
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