Inner Critic vs. Inner Coach: Managing Negative Self-Talk Lesson Plan

Standards Addressed

• Self-Awareness: the ability to recognize one's emotions and values as well as one's strengths and limitations.
• Self-Management: the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations.
• Social Awareness: the ability to understand the perspectives of and empathize with others, including those from diverse backgrounds, cultures, and contexts.

Objectives

Students will be able to:

• Identify negative self-talk (inner critic)
• Replace negative self-talk with positive, supportive self-talk (inner coach)
• Create personalized responses for common mistake scenarios

Materials

• Index Cards (multiple colors if available)
• Markers
• Pencils
• Poster Board or Chart Paper
• Sticky Notes
• Sample Scenarios Cards
• Table Template (printed or on board)
• Folders or Envelopes (for card storage)

Assessments

Students can be assessed on the following:

• Classroom discussion
• Personal scenario table
• Inner coach cards
• Reflection activity

Activating Prior Knowledge

Begin by asking students: "When you make a mistake, what does the voice inside your head say?"

Record common responses on the board. If students have difficulty thinking of examples, use Teacher Modeling and provide prompts such as:

"I'm so stupid" ~ "I can't do anything right" ~  "Everyone is better than me" ~ "I always mess up" ~ "I'll never get this" ~ "Why do I even try?"

Ask follow-up questions: "How do these thoughts make you feel?" and "Do you think these thoughts help you or hurt you?" Record emotional responses (sad, frustrated, embarrassed, angry, defeated) next to the statements.

Lesson Steps

1) Lead a classroom discussion explaining the difference between the inner critic (negative self-talk) and the inner coach (supportive, positive self-talk). Explain that the inner critic is like a mean voice in your head that puts you down when things go wrong, while the inner coach is like a supportive friend who helps you learn and grow from mistakes.

Discuss the impact of both voices: The inner critic makes us feel worse, can stop us from trying new things, and keeps us focused on what went wrong. The inner coach helps us feel better, encourages us to keep trying, and helps us learn from mistakes.

Make sure to let students know that everyone has an inner critic sometimes. The good news is that we can learn to recognize it and replace those thoughts with our inner coach. Discuss that it takes time and practice, but we can get better at it, just like practicing any skill.

2) As a class, create a sample table to model how to respond to the inner critic with the inner coach. Create your own or display the table below on the board. Go over the first example and then, as a class, add 2 more:

3) Break students into pairs. Each pair will pick 3 personal mistake scenarios (examples: failed a test, lost a game, didn't make the team, got in trouble, said something mean to a friend, forgot something important).

4) Have students write out 3 examples of what their inner critic might say in their chosen scenarios.

5) Next, have students read their inner critic statement to their partner, who will act as their inner coach. The partner will write a positive, supportive statement in response to the mistake.

Guide students toward statements that are kind, realistic, focused on learning or problem-solving, and remind them of their strengths. Encourage students to make inner coach statements specific and actionable (not just "it's okay" but "you studied hard and you can ask the teacher for help on the parts you didn't understand").

6) Now working individually, each student will create 3 inner coach cards using index cards. On each card, they will write a short, powerful statement they can say to themselves the next time their inner critic is being negative or the next time they make a mistake.

Provide sentence starters if needed:

"I can learn from this by..." ~ "It's okay to make mistakes because..." ~ "One thing I did well was..." ~ "Next time I will..." ~  "I am proud of myself for..."  ~ "Everyone makes mistakes, and I..."

7) Have students organize their inner coach cards in a designated spot in the classroom. This could be in a folder in their desk, a pocket chart on the wall, or a decorated box. Whenever they are having a tough day or experiencing negative self-talk, they can grab an inner coach card to help flip their thinking to positive.

Consider creating a class "Inner Coach Card Library" where students can anonymously share cards they've created and borrow cards that resonate with them.

Teacher Modeling example:

"I want to share a time when my inner critic was really loud. Last month, I was teaching a lesson and I completely forgot an important step in the activity. My inner critic immediately said, 'You're a terrible teacher. You can't even remember your own lesson!' That thought made me feel embarrassed and frustrated, and I wanted to just give up on the rest of the day.

But then I used my inner coach. I took a breath and told myself, 'You made a mistake - that happens to everyone. Your students didn't seem to notice, and even if they did, it's okay for them to see that teachers make mistakes too. You can adjust the lesson right now and still make it work.'

That inner coach voice helped me calm down, fix the activity, and finish the lesson. The students actually learned a lot that day! Now, when my inner critic starts talking, I have my own inner coach cards I keep at my desk. One of my favorites says: 'Mistakes help me learn. I am always growing.' What I've learned is that the more I practice listening to my inner coach instead of my inner critic, the easier it gets!"

Reflection

Students will complete a final reflection activity by creating 3 inner coach cards specifically to take home with them or keep in their backpack. These should be statements that feel personally meaningful and powerful to them.

Prompt students to think about:

• What situations outside of school trigger their inner critic? (at home, with friends, during sports/activities)
• What do they need to hear when they're feeling down about themselves?
• What would they say to their best friend who was being hard on themselves?

Students can decorate these take-home cards with colors, doodles, or symbols that make them feel good. Provide envelopes or small bags so students can keep their cards together.

Optional extension: Encourage students to share one of their inner coach statements with a family member at home and explain what they learned about managing negative self-talk. They might even help a family member create their own inner coach card!

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Here is the printable version of  Managing Negative Self Talk Lesson Plan.

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